What's Happening,

my life in short has been a roller coaster ride...!! Life @ how can't be more miserable than i expected it to be. i don't really know what problem my mom has with me, but i'm pretty sure she doesn't like me. one thing i failed the most is impressing my parents, unfortunately i have successfully demolished it. i think life is great for me when i'm left home alone. my sister makes a lot of scene out of nothing. her tantrums are normal to my parents, but i kinda find it very atrocious, bcos wen i did the same i got all possible slaps with words and behavior. 

my mom makes a scene out of nothing as i said before, even out of nothing. my dad calls me a compulsive liar, but wen my  mom lies & manipulates stuff ( which she did wen my grandfather was alive, she told me all the ill stuff about him, eventually wen the truth came out decades later i was devastated... i jus felt so much guilt build inside me for all the torture my mom put him thru) my grandfather passed away in 2012. Since his death not a day goes by i don't think about him & all the words i told him, i ask for his forgiveness. my grandfather was alone in a room with  a television for over few years before his death. i truly believe in karma, i have felt and gone thru what he had gone thru. my mom's next bait was me. My mom loves my sister blindly that all her lies are unbelievable to happen (expect maybe in movies) my parents blindly believe in them. being a scapegoat to my mom & point of venting source. its hard for anyone to believe that a mom could torture her daughter both emotionally & mentally. My mom and sis have the same character if not at least close, i never speak the way my sister hurts with words, i tried explaining to my dad about this he was least bothered. To tell about my  mom is far further even to talk, bcos he believes i'm a compulsive liar, so i lie & talk only non sense. but one thing is sure if i don't get a job my 2019 Jan. there will ne no more me. I'm sure my mom & sis would be happy & my dad might feel bad since there will be no one for him to constantly taunt. my mom may feel bad a bit since my sister won't take crap.
my mom in short is distorted self-image. Emotions can be unstable and intense, and there is excessive concern with vanity, prestige, power, and personal adequacy. There also tends to be a lack of empathy and an exaggerated sense of superiority.

my mom's golden child is my sister and she provides privileges to her as long as she does just as she wants. My mom expects that my sister has to be cared for assiduously by everyone in the family. i have no needs and instead gets to do the caring. according t my mom my sister can never do nothing wrong. I'm always at fault. my sister has a large investment in the mother being wise and wonderful, to me she hates me . my mom protects her lies and in turn they lie together to protect each other, in short its blatantly unfair and favoritizing behavior. My sister is always defended, my mom closes her eyes wen it comes to my sister, for example just today we had a incident where many occasions i have been told the same, but my mom got aggravated along with her, end i was the wrong one to have said and did everything, her tantrums are perfectly right
my mom indirectly perpetuate the abuse by finding reasons to blame me for everything she does and at times wen my sister does something wrong, i will be tagged along. my sister gladly takes & behaves similiarly like how my mom doesn't respect me, my mom and sis are very good at abusing with words, belittle my character. talks whatever comes to there mouth.. throw words without even thinking if i'm HUMAN. End of it all.. i look like crazy. 
my mom manipulates my emotions in order to feed on my pain.
i can never tell anyone about anything of this, cos no would believe. i can never talk about my mom & sister to my dad, he wont blive a word i say. infact there were few occasions he called me a manipulative person. i'm pretty sure my mom would have feed his brains about things probably i never did. or exaggerate small thingsx